A letter to John, who is now 5

To my sweet boy, on the day you turn 5 --

Happy birthday, John! I absolutely cannot believe that you are five years old. I'd like to claim an extra day of age four, since we really should be counting in Texas time rather than China time, but that would just be a technicality. I can't really deny how much you have grown up since we moved here. When we first arrived in Shanghai, I could still get by with calling you a toddler. But not now. You have skipped straight through that preschooler stage and are now pretty obviously a big kid, as much as I hate to admit it.

Today you will have a birthday party at your school, and then tonight we will have the birthday meal and cake you picked out -- shrimp and asparagus pasta followed by a coffee ice cream cake from Cold Stone. You really are my son. :-) You have already had a family party in Texas and a "birthday family" party with our friends the LaVires, but you are only concerned with the party where you get to give your friends their Transformer goody bags.

For a quick physical snapshot, you weigh a scant 36 pounds and measure just under 39 inches tall. Your glasses have made it so that nearly every person we meet in China makes a Harry Potter reference, but they don't hide your gorgeous brown eyes that have always gotten so much attention. You have lost every last bit of your baby roundness and cuddliness, and you are now all bones and angles. You don't like smiling all that much, at least on command, but every once in a while we see a flash of your precious dimples. You love to ask how many freckles you have now -- and I remember when you were just a few months old and had exactly two.

You talk and talk and talk and when you decide to stop talking, you fill the silence with Transformer noises. Oh, the Transformer noises. You love to watch the old cartoons from when your dad and I were kids, and you have them memorized. You even watch the commercials on the Transformers website and then act them out with your toys -- even reciting the legal disclaimer at the end. Your memory is amazing. One afternoon you looked at your dad and said, "Dad, did you know that when Cybertron was peace and quiet, the Decepticons were driven by a single goal?" Just about verbatim from the episode of Transformers we had gotten for you on iTunes.

You love school. I mean, you really, really love school, and you love learning. I am amazed by the things you have studied in your little preschool here and just how eager you are to figure things out. When we were in Texas last month, we got you this little kit of electrical circuit projects for kids. You played with that from morning until night, building circuits to set off alarms and turn on lights. And of course, you love to read. I don't mention it much, but your dad and I are just in awe of your reading ability. We are so proud of you, but not just because of that. We love how compassionate you are, and how you don't like for anyone around you to be upset. We love how you have become so outgoing and brave during our time in China, and how much you love to belt out praise and worship songs during church with your hands high in the air. (I don't think anyone has told you that we are Presbyterians and we don't do such things. :-))

I love that our bedtime routine is pretty much exactly the same as it's been since you were two years old. Tonight I made you promise that you would still give me hugs and kisses at bedtime, even when you are 5. I love that you wait until the very last minute of our day together before asking your deep theological questions -- like, how does God see through buildings, and why did Adam and Eve sin in the Garden of Eden? Why is it that you never ask when your daddy the deacon is in the room?

Did I mention that you love Transformers? You do. It does make me a little sad that you have largely grown out of most of the children's shows you used to love. You will watch Dora and Backyardigans with your sister but they don't command your attention the way they once did. However, you did see a few episodes of Chuggington while we were in Texas and talked about it so much that I let you look at the website. It made me so happy to see you interested in something other than Autobots and Decepticons that I found a box set of the DVDs, just to enjoy you watching "little kid" cartoons for a little while.

You are a sweet big brother to Betsy, and I'll admit that you put up with an awful lot from her. You would never say it to her face, but you often tell me how much you love your little sister. You all shared a room the entire time we were in Texas, and when we got back to Shanghai and your separate bedrooms, I think you missed each other at night.

You are still a mama's boy, and you know how to milk it for all it's worth. When you want a little extra cuddling, you'll say "Mama, I just need a soft place to sit and rest." Or you'll start requests with, "Mama, I just really love you, and I was wondering...." Just yesterday, you came up to me and said "Mama, you are very beautiful, and I was wondering if I could have a snack."

This morning, in the wee hours of your birthday, you came into our room to sleep with us -- our power had gone out and you were upset that the nightlight wasn't on. I was so glad to have the chance to cuddle with you, even if you did tell me as you were falling back asleep that I needed to go the store to get Betsy a new nightlight. When you woke up, your dad said "Good morning, birthday boy! You are five today!" You stretched and rolled back over and said, "I don't feel like it. My legs aren't any taller and my pajamas still fit me."

But I think you know that you are getting older, because yesterday you told me that you would still love me even when you were so big that I couldn't pick you up any more. And then you asked me what would happen if you loved me too much. Little boy, you are a blessing and a challenge and a wonder, and you make us so happy.

Love,
Mama